Have you ever scrolled past someone’s success story and thought, “Good for them, but I could never…”? If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Self-belief can feel out of reach when you’re stuck in self-doubt, but confidence isn’t a personality trait; it’s a practice.

“Why do I struggle to believe in myself?” This is a question I hear often, during coaching sessions with women who, on the surface, look as if they have life sorted.

They are ticking the right boxes and seem to be in control, and yet this question arises so many times…“Why can’t I just believe in myself?”

And if you’ve ever asked it too, know this: you’re not broken, and you’re certainly not alone.

The simple truth is, many of us were never taught how to believe in ourselves. We were taught to keep our heads down, not to get “too big for our boots”, and to put others first.

And while humility has its place, over time it can chip away at our sense of self if we’re not careful.

Another simple truth is, confidence isn’t something reserved for a chosen few, the winners in life; it’s something we build. It’s like a garden, with the right tools, you can start cultivating it, bit by bit.

Do you have a good opinion of yourself? If you were to honestly say “ Yes I really like myself and I feel I have many great attributes” then you would undoubtedly think highly of yourself and be doing well in your world.

What if you have the opinion you are awful, no one likes you and you pretty much suck at everything in life, you would be saddled with highly toxic self-limiting beliefs and would probably not be doing as well as you could be.

These kinds of beliefs could cause you to self-sabotage everything you do in your life. But what exactly are self-sabotaging beliefs?